The outer lock of the staff entrance to my building is one of those old fashioned ‘push the buttons together but in the right order’ deelies, but it may as well be the Rubix cube from hell these days. I’ll be working from home from now on, someone inform my boss.
I mean, like, really good. Like, Shakespeare good. Like all his words actually mean something. The kind of words that help the people in the audience on tenuous dates to have sex with each other because the script composition is so witty and so brilliant that you feel like nothing in your life that will ever be as beautiful or as beguiling so you may as well just have sex because you sort of know you’re good at that and why not just attempt to be okay at something for 15mins?
|This is Ben’s script because I left mine in a car.
And I wrote a phone number on it when I couldn’t find a pad.
I think it’s the number for Port Lympne Reserve. Visit it, it’s nice
Arcadia is indeed a masterpiece, intertwining literature, sex, thermo-dynamics, gardening, academia with his usual biting humour and yes, blah blah blah the words the words are wonderful, well I HAVE TO LEARN THEM OKAY?!
Acting is about knowing when to act. It’s important to remind yourself of this.
You will need to be on stage almost every time that your character is on stage. It’s best to hover by the wings, making sure that you don’t go on without you.
Physical acting can be challenging and confusing.
I should have learned the dates earlier because I sure as hell haven’t been saying these ones. I swear, I think at some point I said ‘1732 to 1485’ in rehearsal.
Yep, lots more of that.
Oh Jesus, that’s a lot of words. Ohhhhhhh I should really look these people up.
And also look inquisitive. Look and speak inquisitively when asking questions. And yell. Always yell questions.
Try putting your script down sooner than you’d like, and lose the prompt (if you have one) for a couple of rehearsals close to curtain up. It feels uncomfortable, but it’s supposed to. If your lines are not in your head and others are waiting for their cues, it’s painful. But one thing that’s sure to make me learn my lines is the fear of looking unprofessional in front of others
Reread everything YES THAT INCLUDES THE BITS YOU AREN’T IN. All too often we focus solely on our own roles. You can’t let that shit fly. Every character, every scene, informs on the next, and you better know it inside out. That’s why it’s a play.
Are you better than Anthony Hopkins? ARE YOU?
Want to SEE me act? Come and see Arcadia in Canterbury this November – we promise it will have all the acting you could imagine.
Book here please
Yes yes yes, I know.
- My current gin recommendations (so good you’ll rub yourself in juniper)
- Why I can’t get into my office
- A magical drinking pillow
- My search for the perfect espresso martini
- Tales from The Duck and Bastard
- Uhh….Belfast? Yeah, Belfast, I haven’t done Belfast yet
- I don’t know, something about cats
All of this will be with you in good time. In the meantime, here is a picture of Django looking shocked.
And here is picture of a cream tea I had in Devon which apparently started a war
It is World Gin Day, tiny darlings. Everybody get naked!
We shouldn’t need to be reminded of gin’s loveliness, of why our beloved spirit is a holy elixir of truth and beauty, but who am I to shun an entire day of gin talk/drinking/bathing?
This weekend, I shall be reviewing new gins at the sensationally sexy Junipalooza (read my write of last year’s extravaganza here, here click here now) and bringing you other gin-based banter via the blog and Twitter.
In the meantime, it is only right that we should all start World Gin Day with the sacred and ancient Ten Commandments of Gin that I just made up.
- Thy Lord is thy gin, thou shalt have no others but it.
- Remember thy garnishes, to keep them citric.
- Thou shalt not make unto thee any homemade gin. In a bucket, using dried juniper berries, an entire pepper grinder, spring water, magic fairy dust, and a piece of a burger. At 3am. Because this is why he left you.
- Thou shalt not take thy gin’s name in vain, not in anger, sadness or the height of passion.
- Thou shall not buy cheap tonic, thinking ‘ah it’ll be fine, it’ll be fine’. It’s like smearing fillet steak with, I don’t know, mud.
- Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s gin. Unless it’s Sipsmiths. If it is, steal it and then burn their house down to cover the evidence. (Don’t to that. But do)
- Thou shall sit on the stairs for no more than 5 minutes, and cry only about beautiful things.
- Honour thy favourite distiller, and send them biscuits.
- Thou shalt not, after a few gins, say “I’m not gay, but that is one fine looking woman.” Especially if you’re a doctor about to tell someone they have cancer.
- Thou shalt not bear false witness against the gin. It is never the gin’s fault.
- Thou is a funny word, why don’t we say it any more? I’m going to ask the gin, the gin will know.
- The thing about Christopher Lee was that he had CLASS. Layers, man, his characters had layers and OOO remember the first time you saw the end of The Wicker Man. I was all like ‘whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?’. Seriously, I threw a cat at the screen.
- Oh my god, this song is all about ME.
- What? What? Oh shit, I’m still typing.