I went shopping on Saturday, but stop asking me about that now, I’ll tell you later. There was something I needed. Something for the internet.
On my way home, laden with girlish goods and a mop…for some reason, I decided to call into an electrical retailers in search of a new wireless router. Plusnet said that’s what I needed. They said my phone line was still showing a fault, even though an engineer had been, but it really probably WAS the router’s fault. They were sending one out but it could take a few days and…well it couldn’t hurt if I bought one in the meantime? If it was the router’s fault, I thought, then by plugging in a new one, I’d have internet access that very evening. And if it didn’t work, I could always return it!
“Once you’ve opened the box, you’re doomed.”
I gripped the Curry’s budget brand of router tightly, and stared at the tall foppish tech boy looming over me. “Oh? Really?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Ne returns unless it’s faulty.”
I looked at the box. £30, the cheapest model. The box said router on it, and other words like wifi, USB and speed. “But this one is okay, right? What’s the difference between this model and all the other ones?”
“Oh nothing!” Foppish tech boy exclaimed, even going so far as to gesture nonchalantly. “They’re all the same, some are just more expensive and bit stronger but really no difference at all.”
“Oh, okay.” I took it to the till, and waited for the trio of children that worked there to stop talking and to take my hard earned precious £30 (they did NOT see all the shopping bags, it doesn’t count).
I got home and opened the box.
The router did not have a modem. It had. No modem.
Details of its lack of modem were only apparent once I’d opened the box. It cost £30.
………………………………..Damn you, Plusnet.